F.A.R.T.S.

There exist, on the fringes of our society, a great many secret societies. These range from the inner circle of the Masons to even more bizarre sects, such as comic book collectors, Christian scientists or role-players. 'F.A.R.T.S' - The Fraternity of Alternate Reality Theoreticians and Scientists is one such organisation. F.A.R.T.S has existed since approximately the beginning of the nineteenth century, and was founded by Isaac Newton himself, who had faked his own death some years earlier to pursue a career in the burgeoning area of Weird Science.

F.A.R.T.S has boasted among its ranks many odd scientists. It has thumbed its nose at the more stayed and normal scientists (like Einstein, or Hawking) in favour of scientists with real areas of research. These areas include such things as 'Grand Unified String Theory' and 'Clockwork Spacecraft Construction using Soft Vegetables.' Never has there been a more bizarre collection of prophets, maniacs and geniuses.

Every year, a new chairperson is elected in F.A.R.T.S. Generally, this person has no real duties, although the position is one of great prestige among the members of the Fraternity. The way to become the Chairperson is simple. One must be elected at the yearly F.A.R.T.S get-together, as the scientist with the most ground-breaking and (more importantly) impressive sounding area of research, invention, or new principle. For example, Dr. Edgar Lewis, Chairperson of F.A.R.T.S for 1967 put forward an annual proposal for 'Tachyon Based Deodorant' for mass consumption. Sadly, no commercial company ever took on the idea, but this was probably as well since the deodorant in question was found to dye human skin indelibly green.